Shego's Vacation
by adilyn's demons
Summary: After Drakken hires a new sidekick, Shego leaves his lair in search of a little R&R in some distant country. But Drakken's new sidekick has a malicious side Shego wasn't expecting, and she finds herself stranded, her credit cards frozen, her only option an apology to a smug Doctor Drakken. Unless, of course, her arch-nemesis is willing to room her for a few days. KiGo fanfic xx
1. Chapter 1

"_Shego_!"

The frustrated cry Doctor Drakken let loose resonated through his lair; the shadowy stalactites that hung from the ceiling trembled, and loose stones fell like a brief hail storm, showering the doctor and his minions in shingle and dust.

As the doctor had expected, his curvaceous and capable side-kick did not reply. She'd never really _taken _to the whole "submissive side-kick" role, rarely responding to his yells and preferring to turn up unexpectedly, jolting him. Trust Shego to take vindictive pleasure in his steadily increasing blood pressure.

"What's the problem?" Sauntering into the room in full, feline, hip-swaying strides, Shego tossed back a wave of black hair and offered Drakken a patronizing smirk. "Did wittle Dwakken get defeated while Shego was out?"

"Did not!" Drakken replied in an angered whine, flinging his fists around irritably. "You - you - you -!"

"Uh-huh. Sure." Striding over to the blue-hued doctor, Shego swung her posterior to one side, one gloved hand on her protruding hip, the other tucking a stray curl of ebony hair behind one ear. "So what do you want, Doctor D?"

"After that _embarrassing _incident with the "Little Diablo" toys, I've decided it's time to stop Kim Possible once and for all!" Drakken declared in tones of great determination. Suppressing an eye-roll, Shego resigned herself to the whole overly-complicated-and-scientifically-impossible scheme Drakken would undoubtedly come up with next.

"Okay, you're the boss," Shego sighed slightly. Being a side-kick - well, in Drakken's case, more like a sarcastic and mildly spiteful babysitter - could really drain a girl. "What do you want me to do?" _God, _she needed a vacation. This whole do-your-bidding thing was getting old pretty fast.

"Actually, I haven't quite got to that part yet," Drakken admitted, a little sheepishly, scowling defensively when Shego raised a skeptical eyebrow. "It's not _my _fault! Now that Kim Possible is dating that blasted - oh, what's his name - Ron Stoppable, I can't go for the whole "potentially-perfect-boyfriend" approach -"

"Wait, what?" Shego interrupted, holding up a gloved hand incredulously. "_The _Kim Possible is dating her loser side-kick?"

"Maybe we could take a leaf from their book, huh, Shego?" Drakken replied with a wiggle of his brows, apparently giving her what he thought was a tempting offer.

His invitation was lost on his shapely side-kick as she stalked away from the pallid doctor, her forehead creased and her black lips drawn into a frown. "Kimmy deserves better than _that _low-life loser."

"Yes, well, _whatever_, Shego," Drakken interrupted irritably, stung by her rejection. "We've got bigger problems here than -"

"I mean," Shego continued, apparently with growing feeling for the subject, "_why _should that utterly defeatable underachiever drag down Kimmy's potential, right? She could do _so _much better than him, I mean, someone who's actually a worthy opponent - I mean, no one who can't match up to her doesn't really deserve her, right? And, let's be honest here, in terms of attractiveness -" _  
_

"_Shego_!" Cutting her off with a glare, Drakken folded his arms across his chest, puffing it out significantly. "_This _time, I'll triumph over Kim Possible and her good-for-nothing boyfriend -" Shego scowled magnificently - "with the help of a veteran villain."

Flitting her green-eyed gaze to the figure - who'd apparently been hiding in the shadows this entire time - Shego's scowl deepened as she assessed him with a trained eye. Tall, but spindly, skeletal - not much room for competition on the physical front. But his calculating emerald eyes and cynical expression left little doubt that this was a force not to be reckoned with. And the scar over his left eye certainly betrayed a fight or two in the past.

"Shego, meet Scar." Drakken sounded pleased with his handiwork. Even Shego was pleasantly surprised that his contacts spread to an _actual _evil genius, not a playground bully with lasers.

"An honor, my dear," Scar leered, revealing sharpened canines. Feeling a little offended by his lack of hygiene (that black hair hadn't seen a shower recently) and the way his yellowed eyes kept flickering up and down her form, Shego didn't even offer a smile in reply. What was Drakken thinking, bringing in some perverted homeless guy? She felt violated already and it hadn't been thirty seconds.

"Scar killed his older brother to successfully become the CEO of the largest oil company in the world!" Drakken declared loudly (earning a small round of applause from the red-suited minions and a quiet eye-roll of frustration from Shego).

"That's great, really, wonderful, Doctor D," Shego replied, massaging her forehead with two fingers and heaving a sigh of responsibility. "And he's going to help us _how_?"

Drakken coughed impressively. "_Scar _specialises in relationships."

Shego snorted rather unattractively. No, who was she kidding - nothing she did was unattractive. "Big deal, Drakken. What's that got to do with the let's-defeat-Kimmy situation?"

"Scar can successfully break the two of them apart," Drakken replied in an ominous voice, his eyes gleaming at his impending victory. "Break Kim Possible's heart and destroy her fighting spirit so that I might finally defeat her!"

"Dude, the only one who's ever come close to beating Kimmy is _me_," Shego reminded him in an irritable voice, one slender ebony eyebrow raise. "Don't kid yourself."

"You - I - Kim Possible - _Shego_!" Drakken shrieked, pointing an incriminating finger of blame at the voluptuous villainess. "You watch your language!"

"Okay, okay," Shego sighed, thoroughly irritated by the direction this conversation was taking. She was still in shock over the whole Kimmy-dating-what's-his-name fiasco. "Anyways, Doctor D, I'm overdue for a vacation so _b__uone vacanze, _as they say."

"Wait, what?" Drakken demanded furiously. "Where are you going?"

Shego sighed dramatically, throwing her hips to one side and looking at Drakken in the way someone might look at a squashed bug on their shoe. "Are you always this stupid, or are you making an effort today? I'm going on vacation. Holidays. You know the drill. So - _adios. Ciao. Adieu. Sayonara. _You get me?"

"I forbid you from leaving this lair, young lady!" Drakken shrieked, waving his arms around above his head maniacally. Blowing him a kiss goodbye, Shego sauntered out, her body swaying from side to side in a seductive manner that kept the eyes of every minion trained on her. Although their attentions were hardly worth her time, a small gleam of pride glowed as Shego left the lair.

God, she loved being an evil seductress with glowing superpowers. Really. You had the best fun.

* * *

**_Kim Possible fanfiction - KiGo, Kim x Shego c: Based after "So the Drama"._**

_**Please review / fan / favourite if you like it xx**_


	2. Chapter 2

"What do you _mean _my 'card has been denied'?" Grabbing the cashier by his collar and hauling him over the desk, Shego pulled his face up until he was only a few inches away. "Explain!"

"Um - eh -" The cashier stammered, the rabbity whiskers on his upper lip twitching nervously. "Miss - it just says your card -"

_Ugh, _this was pointless. She was _not _going to get a non-stuttered, coherent answer out of the skittish man in front of her; or at least, not while she had his shirt clutched in her left fist, her right fist drawn back threateningly, its viridescent glow warning the cashier that this super-villain's patience was wearing dangerously thin.

And had been, for the last hour and a half. Rush-hour traffic and all that.

"Give me that machine," Shego ordered in a no-nonsense tone of voice, releasing the rodent-faced man; all to willing to comply, the cowering cashier pushed the card machine over the desk, his blotchy and scabrous skin visibly sweating. _Ew. _Shego couldn't believe she'd put her face so close to his. He was probably contagious or something.

The screen of the card machine clearly read, in pixelated, blockish letters, _card denied. _Snarling, Shego stretched her gloved fingers and proceeded to re-enter her PIN number in the desperate hope the cashier had made some kind of mistake. _Card denied, _the machine beeped.

And then, just as Shego was about to destroy it in her clutched fist, the screen blurred with noise, a snowy pattern of grey static appearing - indicating an impending broadcast. Shego knew _just _who was behind this credit-card crime even before his blue-skinned baboon face appeared on-screen.

"Hello, Shego," Doctor Drakken grinned, revealing two rows of pearly whites.

"Drakken," Shego snarled venomously. "I _knew _you were behind this."

"Actually..." Drakken trailed off, looking a little reluctant to admit it, "this was Scar's idea."

Okay, _that _greasy-haired sleazeball was going down, first opportunity. Shego had seriously underestimated him, a mistake she wouldn't be making second time around. She would tear him apart like a pastry.

"I bet it was." Shego replied sourly. Well, it certainly wouldn't have been Drakken's idea. That man was as malicious as a piece of bread. Besides, Shego knew he viewed his shapely side-kick as a member of his family; he'd said so himself (though, admittedly, just before Shego had been about to blast him to smithereens, so whether he was being truthful or not was questionable).

"Well," Drakken continued, more than a little smug at thwarting his second-in-command. "Until you return to my lair, _all _your cards have been frozen. Permanently."

Shego let out a hiss of anger. Sure, she was a (master) thief, but she was on a freaking _vacation. _Maintaining her spot as one of the world's most-wanted wasn't her top priority.

Sensing that he had her cornered, Drakken's malevolent grin widened. "So what do you say, Shego?"

Shego considered her options. "I'll come back... but only if you get rid of Scar."

Drakken's smile faltered, and he glanced off-screen. Murmured voices were heard, and Shego knew he was discussing this arrangement with the new side-kick, Scar. Shego almost let out a shriek of frustration. For a supposed super-villain, Drakken was _way _too easy to manipulate.

"Scar says that would be ill-advised," Drakken replied carefully. "He says that when you return, he will only be staying for six months or so."

_Six months or so. _Nope, that was _not _okay.

"Offer declined." Shego answered through gritted teeth. Something about that _Scar _man seriously gave her the creeps, like it only took him a couple of seconds to see through her sarcastic exoskeleton and see her flaws, weaknesses; where her loyalties lay. He may have looked like a scrawny perv (and _was _a scrawny perv) but there was something about that character that seemed a little off for a man like Scar. Like it was just a ploy.

She'd underestimated him once already, right? What was stopping him from surprising her again?

"Aw, but Shego -"

"_No_, Drakken," Shego interrupted in a hiss. "That dude gives me the creeps. So I'm _out _until he's cut."

And with that, Shego crushed the credit card machine in her fist (ignoring the almost-silent protests of the cashier, who was half-hidden behind a much burlier cashier). Shooting the both of them a death-glare - but too emotionally drained to blast them with a glowing plasma-shot - Shego stalked from the travel agency, where she'd been in the process of purchasing a three-month cruise of the Caribbean.

Something in her told her that while normally Drakken would bend in less than 72 hours and allow her back, Scar was made of steelier stuff. Drakken's promise of permanently frozen cards was going to hold while _he _was around.

_Ugh, _this vacation was _so _not going as planned.

Tilting her head to the overdrawn sky as the first evening stars appeared, Shego let loose a sigh. Yes, she had connections. But they were connections in Spain, Australia, England. Without her cards, she was trapped in Upperton, Colorado. She didn't even have ten cents.

So she had two options. Return to her blue-hued boss, grovelling on her knees, and put up with Scar for six months.

Or - if she had enough patience left after her encounter with Drakken - pay a surprise visit to her arch-nemesis.

* * *

Kim Possible hadn't expected senior year to be so physically and emotionally exhausting.

First, there was the teasing over her new-found relationship with previous-ex-best-friend Ron Stoppable. Kim could deal with that.

But while Ron was a great best friend, he was - ah, _patchy - _as a boyfriend. His lack of experience, for one, could be a bit off-putting at times; Kim wondered how many girls he'd kissed before her and came to the conclusion that it hadn't been many. Not many at all.

And then there was the whole _romance _thing. Ron was about as romantic as a barrel of fish and considered a good date one spent in a booth at Bueno Nacho, having a "naco" eating race. Gross.

And finally, last but not least, was how PG their relationship was. There'd been a couple of kisses. Nothing unsuitable for children and whatnot. Kim hadn't expected having a boyfriend could be so... _boring, _sexually. Obviously she hadn't expected them to _launch _into things, God no, not with Ron's lack of finesse; but just something, _something _that proved their mutual attraction would be nice.

Kim grimaced at the idea of "mutual attraction". She loved Ron. That was definite. Whether she found him attractive or not was a _whole _other matter, and one she was too tired to address tonight.

Snapping her laptop shut, Kim threw the Kimmunicator onto her desk and sank back onto her comforter, weary already. It wasn't even eight in the evening yet.

"Kim, sweetheart! Dinner's ready!"

"I'm not hungry." Pulling a pillow over her face irritably to drown out the sounds of her abnormal family ("Whoa, Mom, is this a human brain?" "No sweetie, it's just meatloaf. Oh, and no biological weapons at the table please, boys.") Kim sighed and rolled over to face her window.

When suddenly a glowing green figure appeared, curvaceous to the extreme and donning an emerald-and-ebony catsuit.

"Let me in, Kimmy."

* * *

Installment two c:

Sorry it's been a while xx


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